Have you ever thought this? Well, I’m here to tell you to STOP IT RIGHT NOW. Have you found yourself seeing what is out there and saying “Style is a young woman’s game” as you are now past a certain age (and this number will differ for everyone!) and you are worried it looks like you are trying too hard? I have worked with a lot of women, and a very common thread I’ve heard from many hours in your wardrobes, is concern that you can’t pull off a new look, so you stick with the old, worn-out one.
STYLE IS NOT A YOUNG WOMAN’S GAME
To this I say…..BULLSHIT. Really? A YOUNG woman’s game? When I was a kid, a teen, a young adult, I sure didn’t look at women who were YOUNGER than me to inspire my style. Heck no, I was looking at women older than me, and at the very LEAST similar to my age. So let’s unpack that.
YOUR STYLE, YOU DECIDE
What I love about working with women about their wardrobe, is we get to dig into some myths, and limiting beliefs they may have, and I have most certainly also experienced it. We get to create a much clearer picture of the way they want to present themselves to the world, instead of looking at images and examples that are unattainable. And I’m not just talking because “they” are younger. We HAVE to acknowledge that our lifestyle will absolutely be factored into how we get dressed on a daily basis, but we can also build kick-ass, confidence-inducing, and unique personalized style at the same time.
DON’T LIE TO YOURSELF TO HOLD YOURSELF BACK
Ok sister, here’s the thing. I know for sure, many of us tend to talk pretty negatively about ourselves to prove/show evidence that we indeed, aren’t “enough” to wear that / do that / achieve that….the list goes on. One of the things I’m acknowledging and embracing about getting older is how I reflect back on previous phases of my life, and see how my Method to almost anything was incredibly different than it is today. Today I’m more confident, sure of my choices, educated, enlightened with experience, and while I can still be pretty judgy to myself some days, I know what I like. At least I am when it comes to my clothes!
YOUR STYLE, YOUR WAY
Listen, we have to get dressed on the daily, I just want to help you LIKE what you wear more often! You deserve to like looking at YOUR reflection in the mirror. Let’s stop looking at those toned twenty and thirty-somethings who don’t have a clue what it’s like to feel like nothing “fits”. (Both literally and figuratively). Let’s stop telling ourselves it will all be better when we lose those pesky 10 pounds (and then do nothing to actually lose said 10 pounds….I’m not criticizing! I ALSO know I need to work out again, but somehow just cannot find the time.)
We want to feel pretty, effortlessly cool, classic, chic, and, yeah…sexy sometimes. Geez, we aren’t dead! Where is that magic combination for the women who maybe have a little more shape, or a little less budget, or a dislike for anything other than black, or a lifestyle where there is really no “real” need to dress up? Where is the combination that has all of you feeling fab and put together; but not looking overdressed and out of place?
THERE ARE NO RULES
I’m going to admit something here. I was that person, years ago, that felt like there ARE some hard and fast rules for getting dressed at certain ages. And I can’t sit here and say that I don’t still have some. Like overexposing, wearing sexy dresses to church, or wearing clothes that are too big or too small on you. That’s just me. I just think we can do better for ourselves at our ages; but at the same time, if you love it, and feel like your best self in it, who am I to judge? I’ve seen some 60+ gals rocking the boyfriend-style trouser and cropped tank! So who am I to say there are any rules.
Style has come a long way, and personal style is incredibly unique to everyone. When we love what we see, we love the person in it even more. Fashion isn’t frivolous, it’s an extension of who we are and what we like, from colors to cuts, to fit and flatter. To say style is a young woman’s game means we take our self out of it. Because why? We have a little more life and are a little softer around the edges? NOPE.
SAME LOOK, THREE DECADES
I guess the idea of fashion rules may be a result of my watching ALL the What No To Wear shows, reading every InStyle magazine, and heading straight to the “How to Wear It” column showing a similar outfit for someone in their 20’s, 30’s and 40+. Friends I distinctly remember thinking, I can’t wait to dress like a 40+-year-old. It was always wardrobed so much classier and polished, instead of fun or flirty. But that’s what the younger years are for, right? Not anymore. We can be fun, flirty, AND polished all through our years!! We may just have to tweak the combination as we progress through life.
MAYBE THAT’S THE MISCONCEPTION
Maybe that’s part of our problem! We think as we age we have to leave certain things behind! But girl we DON’T! A fun, flirty wardrobe is a feeling. It’s a look you put together. It is NOT just a flouncy mini dress with high heeled sandals and a full face of makeup. Is it that part of it that makes style a young woman’s game? Because I do at times. I don’t have time or desire to get THAT put together every single time I leave the house. My life just doesn’t have the room in it for that these days.
What we need to figure out, is the look you feel you might be missing out on, or want to embrace more, and define what it might mean to you TODAY. We are dressing the “you” of right now, this minute. Not a past version and not a future version. So what is the vibe you are wanting to give out, and how can we do that in a way that feels just right? You are in luck because that is the mission of Method39 and I am HERE FOR IT!
STYLE IS SO DIFFERENT FROM FASHION
I know you’ve heard this before but man, is it ever true. Fashion is what is in the stores. Currently it feels like an endless sea of crop tops, from t’s, to blouses to blazers. I don’t know about you; but coming out of covid and eating ALL MY DAMN FEELINGS, the last thing I want to show is my midsection! In your mid 40’s, you can’t eat a salad and take a real good #2 and get a flat stomach worth sharing. That’s going to take a lot more! So my FASHION choices seem limited. (Good thing I teach you all about versatility, right?! Then you can create looks like THIS, THIS, and THIS with pieces you own to get you through a trend that just is not your style.)
Style is how you take pieces that meet the criteria to gain precious and valuable space in your wardrobe, and all the ways we wear it. Not taking pieces too literally and seeing how else they can be worn. Not being afraid to tailor older or new pieces, to be JUST right. Knowing your best colors, and accessorizing or buying shoes with colors you love but might not wear a lot of. Infusing your personality in your looks with accessories, different bags, hats, sunglasses, and scarves.
MOST OF ALL, NEVER SAY NEVER
And the last thing I want to make sure I leave you with is to Never Say Never. That is a really, really long time, and we just don’t know if we will actually NEVER wear something. Anytime something old is made new again through fashion, it really does go through a tiny “glow up”, otherwise, it would be straight out of the vintage shop. Maybe the way the overalls, or mom jeans are cut, or the placement of the shoulder pads, or the tone of the neon or the wrap of the dress, will be perfect for you this time around? Sometimes it’s the clothes that evolve. Sometimes it’s us.
Just promise me you will not allow yourself to think style is a young woman’s game until you’ve allowed yourself to redefine yours.
Our Method to Style just needs a few tweeks here and there as we go through life.
Don’t take your name off the roster just yet my dear, because, in this game, we all get to win.
Photo Credit to @kathleenphoto