While my favorite thing to talk about is how to take the style we already own, and create something fresh, this is important too. If you are waiting for permission to be the best you…here it is. What I’ve learned while connecting with, and working with my clients, is sometimes, we are just so used to feeling lost.
I PUT MYSELF LAST
I don’t know about you; but I tend to be the one who will eat the “burnt toast” so everyone else can really enjoy their meal. I will make sure everyone’s plate (literally and figuratively) is full, before I fill my own. It feels like I’m serving them and nurturing them; but it’s also creating a mindset of putting myself last. Ladies, there is no award for who deprives themselves of what they really want the most. Permission Granted to “plate up” first as often as you need to. It doesn’t mean you have to put others last to spend time on you.
I’M THE ADULT HERE, I DON’T REALLY NEED ANYTHING
Girl, yes you do. You need it just as much as they do, and you need to show those kids how to work for it. I’m no expert; but what I do know, that after a length of time, going without, and giving more than necessary to others, feels like resentment. Don’t be mad at that mom who comes to the meetings dressed. She took that time for her, and you can too. Don’t confuse putting time into yourself, so you look and feel elevated, as frivolous, wasted time. Permission Granted to take time for you.
HONESTLY, IT DOESN’T REALLY MATTER TO ME
Ok, maybe some days; but not all days. I just don’t believe that. We ALL want to feel beautiful and comfortable in our skin. We cannot wear the same things for years and years and years, and feel fresh, vibrant and ready to take anything on. I know from first hand experience that time can zoom by, and we are shocked to realize our favorite top is actually 6 years old. (and if I had a dollar for every woman I connect with, who still has maternity clothes in her closet when her youngest is in their mid teens, I’d be able to buy us all a coffee right now). We remember feeling great about it when we got it. It’s been a faithful piece for a long time; but in reality, its looking dated, tired, and worn out. (Nothing launders that well, girlfriend.) Permission Granted to accept that THAT description, does not fit you.
YOU MAY FEEL BROKEN; BUT YOUR SECOND ACT IS WAITING
Have you ever heard of Kintsugi? “It’s the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver or platinum.” (as per Wikipedia) I first learned about this when my Pastor talked about us forgiving ourselves of our past mistakes, and realizing the new version is not only stronger; but way more valuable. There is great beauty in our story, and we need to acknowledge that life is about evolving and growing, into our precious value. I started following Candice Kumai (@candicekumai on Instagram) and she wrote a book about this from her Japanese heritage. Permission Granted to fill your broken parts with gold, and rise again.
PERMISSION GRANTED TO BREAK DOWN THE BARRIERS
I may love to share style tips; but what I have learned is that there is a part of us that is being recessed, held back in a lot of cases; but by what? What is strong enough to prevent you from being your best self? What mistake or wrong could you have done to convince you to stay small? If whatever is holding you back, from however long ago, does not DIRECTLY affect your day to day life right now, Permission Granted to let it go.
TIME TO FLIP THE SCRIPT
Dear friend, this life is short, and it can be oh so full. Do not waste anymore moments of it playing small. Stop saying you’ll care more about how you look “when I lose weight”, “when I feel better about myself”, “when my kids are on their own”, “when I actually have places to go”. What would happen if you just decided, right now, to not focus so much on your weight, feel better about your self right now, while your kids are home (and they can witness your evolution) and then it will CREATE places to go, because the best and most approachable version of YOU is what is being put out into the world?!
It’s not just about clothes here at Method39. I’ve realized through my years, that while a “power suit” should be in all of our wardrobes; it’s who we are, how we navigate life, and our relationships in it (with our self and with others), that brings out our true Method to Style. Permission Granted to allow it to evolve as often as you need.