Oh what a glorious day, that is Mother’s Day. I read something recently that said it should really just be women lifting each other up, as well as families, giving Mom a well deserved day of less to do (because let’s face it, while kids are living in our home, we never actually take a day completely OFF).
While I was feeling like I had entered the Twilight Zone in the best way possible, with a husband who literally left no stone unturned and no detail was too small to pay attention to, I sat in my room while he and the kids prepared my all time favorite breakfast of French Toast…..and I thought of all the different kinds of Mama’s. Maybe you did this too, or saw an image on Instagram or Facebook that lifted all kinds of Women up; but here are some that I really loved….
I’m not going to lie, growing up and even in my first Mother’s Days, it never crossed my mind how many different kinds of Mom’s are out there, and since I haven’t lost mine yet, I haven’t even associated Mother’s Day as a difficult day….which just goes to show how selfish and self centered we humans can sometimes be, even when we don’t mean to.
This year, I spent as much time oozing gratitude out of my every pore for my kids and Kent, for the Mom’s that raised Kent and I, and for my Sister and Grandma, because if it weren’t for all of these women I wouldn’t be the Mom I am today. But I spent just as much time thinking of the women who aren’t celebrating the same way I am. And I lifted them up in prayer hoping they found some light in a potentially dark day.
Here’s the the many Mom’s I know that may not have birthed their babies; but they have been their devoted Mother’s from the moment their eyes met and their hearts connected. A friend of mine posted this on her Facebook wall and I was so moved by it…
There is also the Mom’s who are literally SUPER MOM and can get it all done. I am in awe of those women; but after almost 12 years of parenting, I know their secret….they AREN’T getting it all done, they just know what is important, how to prioritize, sometimes they nail it, and sometimes they make a mess of it; but through it all, they are Mom’s making it all work! So great news! That includes you and me!!
Because in the end, we have been given a pretty darn big job, that requires all of what we’ve got, to do the best we can. Somedays it feels like it is on autopilot, smooth sailing and we have the rhythm down pat….only to find that in just an instant, all hell breaks loose and we have to become more like firefighters to deal with all the problems that come up, than actual Mom’s. BUT, we do it with gusto, (or not), with focus, (or not), and with a smile on our faces….OR…not. In the end, it may not be pretty; but we make it happen for those little people we made!
Here’s what I know….Momming is something every single person seems to have an opinion about, whether they are “experienced” or not, whether they became a Mom a year ago, a decade ago, or a generation ago, they “know” how to fix the things you are doing wrong. My favorite is the Mom’s, at any stage, that say, “My little Johnny / Sally will NEVER….” ahhhhh, you can finish that sentence with almost anything, and it could backfire. This is a job where there is really no need for judgement or grading….no two mom’s are alike, no two kids are the same, and what works for one may not work for another and that is OK..not to mention completely normal.
My focus, as I love and raise the two children who were put in my care by the infinate wisdom of my Heavenly Father, is I just want them to be brave in life, to stick to what they believe in, dare to do something they love even if it is against the norm, be hard working, polite, have empathy and compassion, but yet not be taken advantage of. To know nothing comes easy and they are entitled to exactly ZERO, because nobody in the world owes them anything. I want them to know when to apologize and when to forgive…I imagine this will get much harder as the teen years approach and pride gets really real. I want them to know that high school is a blip on their radar of life and nothing at all that happens there, or the people they meet there, dictates their worth or what they can become in the REAL world. One day, my kids are going to be someone’s boyfriend / girlfriend, husband / wife, mother / father, and those are some of the most sacred and important roles they will ever own. I pray that as their Mom and Dad, we can instill values, morals and a sense of self. No. Big DEAL, right?! SHEESH. Kind of scares the crap out of me a little bit….
It’s a long list friends…and it won’t happen overnight. In fact, alot of those things are learned by example and repetition….through Kent and I! I think those are the things you get to know if you did well, after it’s all over and they go into the world as adults, that Kent and I will get to look back and reflect on. So…until then, while they are still young enough to think that Mom is one of the coolest people in their life, I will admit, I spent this Mother’s Day being showered with love, getting unlimited cuddles from both, swimming, napping, EATING, was told how much they loved me about 400 times, got home made cards and a “Cupon Book” from Sophia that includes everything from “Free Hugs for 2 Minets (includes kisses)”, a “Free Picture Drawing (includes disins and more)” a “Free Musag” and my favorite, “Free Buble Bath (includes candles and water sent). She loves to do over the top things for people she loves…I’m so proud to see that in her!
I will end with this….we pray, as parents, that you will do all the “right things”; but how to do you measure that? Well, for me, this year, my boy might as well gave me an A+; but he didn’t know it. In his card he made, the thanked me for “teaching him soooo well. …I am happy that you help me on the way to success on being a good boy. I love you so much.” He feels that…at ELEVEN.
Mic. Drop. I bawled.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mama’s of every kind out there!